Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Caged Girl

I am living in a box. I look around and see students dutifully studying, but I'm not like them. If I'm on the right path, why does it feel so wrong? I want to drive away, anywhere, wherever, just taking random routes, singing along to Bonnie Raitt and Meredith Brooks. I want to roll in a field of wheat and paint the university red. I want to peel back the walls and look into the world beyond. I want to do somersaults. I want to chop my hair off. I want to grow butterfly wings and fly high high high and look down at how small everything really is. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to be successful in some white collar job and follow a routine and get up at 7am every morning and go to work. I want freedom. I have this craziness building up inside threatening to blow me up if I don't release it. I don't want to take more pills. I don't want to be pacified and stabilized. I can't be caged.